Today is my mine and my husband’s second anniversary. Many couples have been married for longer and have much more wisdom and knowledge to bestow on you. However, I thought I would share with you some of the little nuggets of wisdom I have to give.
1. Choose to love!
This one is such a biggie. No matter what kind of day I’m having, no matter what kind of day my husband is having, we chose to love each other. We chose to see past each other’s shortcomings that day and remember the vow we made two years ago to love each other till death do us part. If you get nothing from this post, get this.
2. Communicate clearly!
Choosing to love is a bit easier when all the cards are on the table. My husband and I make it a point to always be open and honest with each other, even when it’s something we might not want to hear. If I’m doing something that bothers him, I want to know how I can be better and vice versa. We are continually working to have better communication and to understand each other more.
3. Always respect each other in public!
This is a little tricky. You might think it would be second nature, but let me tell you, it’s not. If you have a tiff, it’s easy to want to talk about it with all your girlfriends in a light that’s not the most flattering to your husband. Don’t do it! In the end, you won’t feel any better, and you’re only helping to plant bitterness in your own heart. Girls, for sure, like to gang up against one man. Don’t let this happen. Does this mean you can’t talk to anyone about marital problems? No way. But it should be with someone you truly trust and value their advice.
4. Do not keep a list of wrongs and rights!
This may also seem like an obvious thing to do, but it’s harder than you may think. You will easily find yourself saying, “Well, I did the dishes last night AND the night before. The least he could do is….blah blah blah blah”. Stop right there. This will never make your husband do more things that you think he should, and this will most definitely cause bitterness in your heart. Appreciate the things he does. Recognize them. Praise him. Then, clearly communicate how you need more help. Try it out. I promise it’s better than secretly being mad at him for the list of wrongs and rights.
In my opinion, divorce usually isn’t something that happens all of a sudden. It begins with little seeds of bitterness in our hearts. Our goal in our marriage is to stop any seeds of bitterness from ever taking root. We try, with all our might, to work out issues when they come up. We don’t suppress our feelings. We address them head on. We’ve only been married two years, but I can tell you, it’s been the easiest two years of marriage I’ve ever heard of. Are we perfect? Far from it, but we try to daily practice these little nuggets of wisdom that were told to us by much wiser men and women. We have found that they work. I love him more now than I did two years ago when I said “I do” and I only expect our love to continue growing. Happy anniversary!